Success!

As many of you know, this past weekend was my 20yr class reunion. It started with golf on Friday (which I didn’t attend), a gathering at a local bar Friday night, another night of drinking and fun at another local bar Saturday night and finished with a family picnic on Sunday. All in all, it was a really good weekend and I’m so glad that I got to be a part of it, both planning and attending. There were lots of classmates that I was able to talk to and meet their spouses/girlfriend or boyfriends and find out what everyone has been doing for the past 20 years.

Looking back on this weekend, I did learn a few things about myself and those I went to school with. I can honestly say that I feel that the group of kids I went to school with, they accepted ME…I wasn’t judged by my size. So as I think back to all those years that I allowed myself to not participate in LIFE, it wasn’t because I felt I’d be made fun of, it’s because I didn’t ALLOW myself to LIVE! There are things that were said to me this past weekend that will forever stick in my mind. I was told by some of my classmates that I’m so beautiful and I always was!! STOP….I always was??? Was I hearing this right? Yes!! It was ME who had the problem and who needed to believe in myself.

I know there are many kids going through school today with the same feelings that I had. I know that kids are a lot tougher and cruel, but each one of them needs to believe in themselves. We need to be teaching these kids to love themselves no matter what size they are…there’s so much out there to live for. I know and for me, it’s taken 20yrs to actually BELIEVE it and realize that my classmates accepted ME!!

So if I’ve inspired any of you through this journey with me, I would ask you to look at all those young Misty’s out there and make sure you tell them just how beautiful they are, so that they can truly believe it and see it!! I’m not saying that I didn’t have people telling me this, it’s just that it took 20yrs for me to truly believe it. Sometimes it’s just the little things that are said to us at certain times, that truly make a difference!

I’m not sure if the people who truly inspired my “eye opener” this weekend will even read this, but if they do…I hope they know who they are. I truly feel that I’ve been inspired again to continue this journey and get the next 80lbs off!!! My goal for my 25yr class reunion is to be finally at the weight and size I want to be….and this goal is for me and not everyone else! I just need everyone else beside me for this next journey!!! I need those people in my ear telling me I can do it!

So next time you see a bigger person, whether it be young or old, don’t sit back and judge them. You honestly don’t know what they are going through. Find something to compliment them on, or even just a friendly smile. Sometimes that is the one thing they need to push them and to help them get through what they are going through. Inspire someone today to believe in themselves!!

Blessings and Hope…
Misty

20 Years Later…

I can’t believe that this weekend I will be attending my 20 year class reunion!  I know, I know…most of you are probably saying to yourself…there is no way she is even 21!!  As I think back to 20 yrs ago, I can definitely say my life is different than I ever thought it would be.  Back then I was wanting to go into Accounting to be a CPA so that I could have a good paying job and have all the things that I wanted.  But guess what….I don’t even like balancing my own checking account!

Through the years I have come to realize that happiness isn’t about how much money you make or what kind of “toys” you have.  It’s about those people who are beside you through thick and thin…those who will still love you when you fail and fall and will pick you up.  Did I fail in life? NO!  I LIVED in life and I have MANY memories that I will never forget.  Maybe I am not where I want to be, but I am where GOD wants me to be.  He is the one who has led me down this path.  While many of my classmates and friends were going to college and establishing their lives….I was helping my mom take care of my dad.  I chose to leave school and to not take a full-time job, so that I could help where I needed to be.  Was it easy…NO, do I regret it NO.  I saw my dad go through some very rough days and yet between my school bus schedule and my moms work schedule, we didn’t have to put my him in a home.  Now to me…that is what LIVING is about!

I may not have a career, my own home, or lots of toys, but I do have memories and if I had to do it over again, I would!  So next time you stop and think about where you have been and if you have accomplished what you set out to do….look at the little things!  It is these little things that mean much more!  I may never retire or have a big bank account, but it is ok!  I would rather bring a smile to someones face and show them that I TRULY care, than to have money.  I have seen what money does to people and I have experienced it my own family.  It is so sad to see that people would rather have money, than time with family!

So as we look to the next 20yrs, I would tell you to look at the important things in life.  Don’t keep telling yourself that your going to do something tomorrow, do it today.  None of us are promised tomorrow and you don’t want to live with the regret.  Next month, my dad has been gone 6yrs and in those 6yrs our family has lost more than 10family members, and have seen MANY family and friends diagnosed with cancer and other illnesses.  In these past years, I have learned to tell those that I love how much they mean to me, because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring!  One thing that my dad always said, “Remember to take time everyday to listen to the birds sing!”

Blessings and Hope….

Misty

 

 

 

A difference 3 years makes…

Hello everyone! I know I have been pretty quiet and haven’t posted much. It was 3yrs ago today when I received my phone call that everything was approved for me to have Gastric Bypass surgery. I look back on the past 3yrs and look at how much has changed. Not only have I lost 160lbs but I have GAINED a lot more! Some people may look at me and still think I am a BIG girl, but you know what…LOOK AT WHERE I HAVE BEEN!!! I may not be exactly where I want to be weight wise, but I have learned a lot about myself and I am still learning.

Tonight while talking about goals with my mom and cousin, it was brought up that I am possibly going through my midlife crisis. You know what…YES maybe I am, but to me…it’s my 20’s that I never got to experience! I am definitely NOT the normal stay at home 38 year old! I am a 38 year old who is enjoying life, the life she never got to experience. While in my 20’s I let my weight control EVERYTHING about me along with my dad being sick. I remember my friends all going out, but I always came up with excuses. But now…most Tuesday nights you can find me out with friends at the bar doing karaoke and having fun! I FINALLY let myself have fun! I am sure there are some people who say I am to old to be out having fun, but for me…I feel like I am in my 20’s…plus I have been told that I look 26!! I will say, I am still trying to find myself and my career. One of my current goals, which some think I am crazy…but I want to start bar tending! But I want to do the more creative part of it…the mixology and just having fun with it!! So I guess we will see what comes of that.

In the past 3yrs I have also come a LONG way in my attitude. Life is to short to put up with people who want to play games with me…I don’t care if your friends or family! I only want people in my life who are going to be there to support me, so if your not able to do that…then walk away! I am not saying that mean, but I want people who are going to support me in this life. Granted not everyone will agree with my goals, but they are MY goals! Let me try them out and see how it goes!

So as I look onto the next 3yrs, I WILL attain my goals and I WILL find out what is best for ME!! Those who chose to walk with me, will see me in the end and be there! Life is not easy and for once I want to live it and try something that I want to do and not what everyone else wants me to do!!

Before Photo:

Current Photo:

Hugs…

Misty

Reality Check!

Happy New Year!  I hope the new year is bring you lots of GOOD things!  I know for me it has been an emotional one so far and just wondering what the year will bring.  However, I do look back on the last year and look at ALL that has changed in and wonder if I accomplished what I set out to accomplish.  Personally, I didn’t hit all my goals that I had planned on and I wanted to be a bit farther in my journey than I am.  But, it’s ok, I can’t change what the year brought, all I can do is jump forward and move on.  I hadn’t planned on having 3 surgeries last year…SERIOUSLY I want just 1 year with NO SURGERIES…I am declaring that 2014 is going to be THE ONE!  (I think my insurance company would even love me for that too!)  If I did have one, I would want it to be skin removal…but I have work to get to that point!

One of my goals is to get back on here and blogging a lot more of my journey!  I know it helped me to see my progress and I hope it might have inspired someone along the way.  Another one is to get BACK ON TRACK!  With the holidays, we all get busy and we find ourselves grabbing the “convenient” foods instead of the healthiest option.  Just don’t let that get you down, tomorrow is ALWAYS a new day and the food police won’t arrest you!  Just keep your chin up!

I want to share with you a couple of photos before my surgery, photos throughout last year and one of me today!

I know I enjoyed looking at my progress while posting these photos!  Sometimes it is so hard to see the progress when we look in the mirror every day, but to see where I have come from I can see the transformation.  This year is my 20yr class reunion and I am going to enjoy seeing my classmates and being the NEW me!  I still have  months to work on that journey and be ready for that day to see old friends.

My goal is to keep blogging my progress this year and stay better on track with the blog!  This is MY STORY or ME!  It is MY CELEBRATION!!

Hugs…

Misty

Goals!

Hello and I am back!  I have sort of disappeared for awhile, just been busy with life and taking a trip to upstate New York!  So hopefully I will now get back and get posting a bit more.  We had a great time on our vacation and I was able to see more of New York that I wasn’t able to see when we went a few years ago.  It is always nice to go and see family and to create memories.

So while talking with my mom this weekend, we got talking about goals and what we have accomplished.  I proceeded to say that I wish I would have done things differently and tried to accomplish goals that I wanted…such as careers and just things like that.  Like a mom, she stopped me and told me that I have accomplished one of my biggest goals ever.  I wasn’t sure what goal she was talking about, but then she said that I have lost weight!  She is SO right!  The one thing that I have always wanted in life was to be thin, or at least thinner and here I am!  I am on my way to being a healthy weight.  YES, it is a work in progress, but it is one that I am learning a lot about who I am along the way.

Another goal that I have always wanted and thought about is being a plus size model, although I never gave myself enough credit.  Now, that is a goal that I am going to start working on.  I keep hearing…you have such beautiful eyes and a great smile, so I might as well go for it!  I am going to start working on getting some photo shots and working on a portfolio and finding some contacts.  If it is something that I want, then I am going to work towards it!  Now, I am not sure how long I will be considered a “Plus Size” model, but I will try as long as I can.  I will never know what potential I have, if I dont try for it.  It is time to work towards some of my personal dreams.  I will keep you updated on how the progress is going!

I know I’ve been slacking on the photos of the day, but I do want to share a photo with you from our trip to New York!!

Thanks for taking the time to stop by and I will be back with more photos and updates!!!  Have a wonderful day!!

Love and Hugs…Misty

The True ME!

So today I took a face photo of me from 2010 and put it up against a photo that I took today.

When I look at the photo from before, I think to how unhappy I really was.  I know there are some people who say they are happy being just the weight they are, or that they don’t want to be thin.  Honestly, that is the one thing that I have always wanted.  I didn’t want to be overweight.  I don’t think anyone will ever know how miserable I really was at that weight.  I tried so hard to always put a smile on my face, when deep down inside I was hurting.

I look at that photo from before and you can just tell how miserable I felt.  Like my aunt said, you can just see how it was almost an effort to even smile.  It was, but I still wanted everyone to think I was happy.  I have come a long ways since that day and I have weeded out certain situations in my life too.  I believe that when you are not happy with your life, it interferes with your health also.

I always was the person who was a YES woman.  I didn’t know how to say “NO” or one who would try to really defend myself.  I let people walk all over me and I just dealt with it.  I look at that photo and see someone who was broken but trying to find herself in the world.  I was living my life for everybody else.  As long as everyone else was happy, that is all that mattered.  Why?  Why should I let everyone else live my life?

These days, it isn’t about everyone else…it is about ME and what is best for ME!  I am finally finding my own voice and doing what is best for my family and I.  I don’t need people in my life who are going to stress me out, or situations where I have to be worried about what I say or what do.  I do have a voice and I am going to let people hear it and know what I think!

Has weight loss surgery changed me?  NO!  It has just allowed the REAL me to come out.  The person I always was, but was just afraid to speak my mind and opinions.  It is just kind of sad that all these years I didn’t allow myself to be who I truly was.  So if my friends and family don’t like me voicing my opinion, well then that is just fine!  I have a lot more true friends and family out there who will support me in my journey!  I don’t want fake and phony people in my life that are going to cause drama and problems.  Like I have said before..Enjoy life because you never know when it will be your last day!

Love and Hugs…Misty

If Tomorrow Never Comes

My heart goes out to those families who have lost loved ones at the Boston Marathon and those who have been injured.  I can’t even begin to think what they are going through at this moment.  Our minds will never comprehend why someone would do that to innocent people, but unfortunately there are those who don’t care about how many people get hurt.

So this got me thinking about how much we take for granted that our loved ones will be around tomorrow.  What if tomorrow didn’t come?  Would your friends and family know exactly what they meant to you?  If it were you that left this earth tomorrow, what would they remember about you?  In today’s world, life goes by us so very fast that we don’t take time for the “small things”.  Or we are constantly saying, we will do that tomorrow.

In the summer of 2000, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer.  This was out of the blue and something that we weren’t expecting at all.  My dad was NEVER sick.  Up until then, he had only been in the hospital once and that was for the removal of his gall bladder…he was just one healthy guy, other than smoking.  One day while at work he coughed up a little bit of blood and for some reason he mentioned it to my mom and she told him to make a doctor’s appointment.  So he did, which completely shocked me.  He went to the appointment and they did chest x-rays and a CT scan and told him that they would call us with the results.  I remember the next day so very well.  It was a Friday about noonish and the phone rang and it was the doctor’s office.  I answered it and it was the doctor wanting to talk to my dad.  So my dad took the phone and talked to him and on the phone the doctor told my dad that he had cancer!  Just after dad hung up the phone, my mom came home for lunch and my dad told her the news.  I do believe we were all completely shocked and didn’t know what to do.  From that point on our life was completely changed and we didn’t know what the days would bring us.

Let me back up to the night before we found out this information.  My dad and I always got into little spats here and there, each one of us believed we had to have the last word in.  This was something that irritated my mom so bad, because we would just keep at it.  When it was done and over, dad and I would just laugh it off.  The night before we found out the test results, him and I had gotten into a BIG argument and I remember being so upset with him and I went to bed and didn’t even tell him goodnight or that I loved him.  So the next day when we found out the news, I felt terrible!  How could I let an argument get between us?  I have always been a daddy’s girl and growing up I was always out in the garage playing with my colors and coloring books, while dad worked on his cars.  I had my own area in the garage that he had set up for me to play.  So from then on out, I always made sure that I told him exactly how I felt.  No argument is worth getting in between you and someone you love.  Life is to short for that!

The night that my dad finally passed away, August 18, 2008…there were so many things that I wanted to tell him that I never got to do.  That day he had just gotten sick so suddenly, but I thought it was going to be like it had been in the previous months.  He would get to the hospital and the doctors would start giving him the meds and he would come through and then spend a week in the hospital and then come home.  Except that night was different.  He was talking here at the house when the squad took him but by the time we saw him at the ER, he wasn’t responsive.  It was at that time the doctor told us there was nothing we could do, we could give him the medicine, but it wasn’t going to help.  It was time to call the family and keep my dad comfortable.  I was so angry at my mom because I wanted him to have the medicine, maybe the doctor was wrong maybe he would pull through.  Deep down I knew my dad was not strong enough for this but I wasn’t ready for my dad to leave.  There were so many things I wanted to tell him and things I wanted to show him, but I never got that last chance.  I can’t change the way things are, but I know to always make each day count!  We are never promised another day on this earth, so make sure you go to bed knowing that you lived that day to the fullest!

I know that my dad is up in heaven looking down on me right now.  The one thing that he always wanted was to see me lose weight.  That was his biggest concern and worry, that the weight would kill me.  I do have to laugh though because he always promised me that he would by me a whole new wardrobe once I got to my goal weight.  Well dad, I am going to get to that weight but you aren’t here to buy me my clothes!  It is ok though, I know you are out of your suffering and I know that you are beside me every day!  Dad I love you so very much and I always hold you close in my heart! 

Photo of the Day:

Love and Hugs…Misty

Real Beauty

Tonight I pulled up my Facebook account and at the top of my list was a video that one of my friends posted from Dove, it was a video of their new ad.  You have to go watch this video, it is AMAZING!  It is going to definitely make you think about how you see your self and how others view you.  It really made me stop to think.

My entire life I have been big and I always believe I made myself suffer because of it.  I didn’t do everything that I always wanted to do and I didn’t try out for things in high school because I felt I wasn’t good enough for that.  I remember hearing one time the phrase, “you have such a beautiful face, if only you weren’t heavy”.  That phrase stayed with me my entire life, and can still remember hearing it.  That is something that just makes you stop and think that maybe that is how everyone sees you.  You can try to think differently, but it is always in the back of your mind.

I have had so many people tell me how beautiful I am and how I have such pretty eyes, but lots of times I felt that they were just saying that.  I can’t be beautiful, I am not “skinny” like our society wants us all to be.  But that is not true, we can be beautiful, we just have to give our self the credit!  I remember one day shopping in my favorite plus size clothing store and I had 2 ladies, who were shopping too, come up to me and tell me how beautiful I was…I was so shocked!  At the same time they were shopping, I overheard them telling the manager that I needed to apply for the plus size model search that the company was doing.  Guess what…I did apply and tried out, but I didn’t make it.  It is ok, it just wasn’t meant to be.

Why is it that we all think we have to be thin to be beautiful?  We are all beautiful in our own way, that is what makes us all different. Who says that just to be beautiful we have to be a size 2 or tall, blonde and tanned?  I so bad want to go tell all these young girls who are trying to be “perfect” that there is so much more to life than being one certain way!  I want to tell them that there are LOTS of guys out there who will love us for more than just being beautiful!  How many times do you go to class reunions and see that one girl who you would consider to be “all that” in high school and now, she has put on weight and is just as average as any of us?  Honestly, our attitude and the person we are deep inside is going to get us a lot farther in life than our looks!

Since losing weight I have had so many people tell me that I am just so beautiful and that I was beautiful even before I lost all the weight!  To me that is shocking, because I didn’t feel beautiful before.  But then I started to see that I was beautiful, I just didn’t give my self the credit!   I just wish that a long time ago I would have realized this, but instead it took me a lot of years to understand it truly.

I know I haven’t posted photos in the last couple of days, so here are my pics to catch up a little.  One of them is even of me with NO make-up, which completely shocked me because I usually don’t go anywhere without being all put together and here I am posting it for the world to see!  So here I am…

 Thanks for stopping by and remember, we are ALL beautiful!

Love and Hugs…Misty

BIG Accomplishment!

Today I accomplished something that was a BIG for me!  I have been going and working out at Anytime Fitness in the evenings with my husband when he gets off of work and have been very content with this.  Now when I say evenings, I’m not meaning the normal 7pm or 8pm, no I mean like 12:30am, when most people are asleep.  This is just the time that worked for us with the hours that he works, plus honestly, there aren’t that many people there at that time so I didn’t have to worry about others looking at me.  I got used to the “regulars” because they were mostly just coworkers of my husbands.  Well, last week my husband started working later hours, so his workout time wasn’t going to be the same as mine.  Now it used to be that I would just make this an excuse to not go to the gym, and leave it at that.  But not anymore!

This journey is about ME not everyone else!  I’ve started to realize that if I want to make this a part of my lifestyle and make the change, then I need to not worry about what everyone thinks of me.  I have always been one that has been concerned about what others think.  In school I can remember wearing those darn gym uniforms and feeling embarrassed about how I looked in them.  Not only was it hard for me to do physical activity, but the uniforms made me look and feel so uncomfortable.

So guess what I did today?  I went to the gym by myself and I survived!  Yep, I went during the afternoon and I did my workout and there were others there.  I didn’t worry about how I looked or if they were watching me because really, some of them might be having the same thoughts as me.  I have finally come out of my “comfort zone” when it comes to working out!  This is just another accomplishment in this journey of mine!!

Oh and before I end for the day, I can’t forget to share my day 2 photo with you all!  It is going to be rewarding to look back at these photos and see where I have come.  I still have days when I look in the mirror and I see that 440lb woman looking at me.  Those are the days when I need the encouragement and the photos to remind myself that I am NOT that person!!

Hugs and Love…Misty

Phases!

So today I decided that I would start “trying” to take a new photo of me every day.  I wish I would have done this from the beginning but I didn’t, so I might as well start now.  I will just call this my Phase II of my weight loss, it’s my journey so I can do it!  Actually in reality, it sort of is my next phase because I feel like I had so many obstacles to deal with last year and I was at my low spot.  So NOW is the time!  Here is my first daily photo:

We all have new phases in life, whether they are phases that we choose or ones that just happen.  I always thought that I would be driving school bus until I was at least 90yrs old…okay maybe not that old!  But well, life chose other paths for me back in 2011, paths that brought me to where I am today.  Was it an easy path? NO…but it was one that I wouldn’t change.  I have to say that I pretty much-loved driving bus and seeing the kids, they were MY kids!  I treated them as they were mine and didn’t want to see any of them hurt.  Now, I can say that even though I loved them, there were days that I couldn’t wait to get that last child home!  As long as they ALL got home safely, that was the main thing.  My decision to stop driving bus was brought on by many different changes in my life and a path that I believed my life was going down.  Two months later though, I realized that new path was not what it was meant to be.  So here I sat at a time in my life with no job and not knowing what was going to happen.  Was I scared and concerned? Yes, but honestly relieved all at once.  I knew that God had something better planned for me, something that was yet to be revealed.  It was then that it was brought to my attention that this would be the PERFECT time to have the gastric bypass surgery.  Hey, why didn’t I think of that?  So I got on the phone right away and made a call to Dr. White’s office and told them to submit my paper work and everything into insurance.  Let me back up for a minute….earlier in 2011, I was set for all my paper work to be sent in for the surgery approval, when I got a call that there was a tumor found on my adrenal gland, which needed to be removed and put the gastric bypass on hold!  It was the end of July 2011, when I made a phone call to my favorite nurse, Jeanne Scheve (love her), telling her to submit my paper work.  Normally when you submit your paperwork, it can be weeks before the approval is finally made from the insurance company.  The following week, I got a phone call from Jeanne telling me that everything was approved and I just needed to make my appointment with Dr. White to schedule my surgery!  I was so excited I began crying because this was a dream come true.  I couldn’t wait to get that appointment made.  However, my husband had an appointment with Dr. White the next day so when I went with him and was telling the doctor it was approved, he said let’s get it scheduled!  Here in less than a week from submitting paper work I already had the approval and a date of surgery being August 29, 2011!  WOW…that was fast!

As I look back now to that phase of my life, I realize it was meant to be that way.  We don’t know what tomorrow is going to be or what our situation is going to be like.  Two months after my surgery, my husband changed jobs which meant a change in health coverage.  Had I not taken the opportunity to pursue my surgery when I did, there is the chance that I wouldn’t have been able to have it, the new insurance might not have covered it.  Had I still been working at either the bus or the store, would I have taken the time for me to have the surgery…probably not!  But for once I did take the time to do this for ME and I don’t regret it one bit!  I am now enjoying the new phases in my life and have realized that God puts things in front of us for reasons.  Reasons that we may not understand at that moment, but at some point it will become clear to you!  Enjoy each and every phase that God gives you!

Love and Hugs…Misty